When is the Best Time to Disclose One’s HIV Status to a new Partner?

If you are dating somebody and you also suffer from HIV, it can be difficult to know when to disclose your status to them. A potential romantic interest is exciting but also scary when you have HIV. Fear of their response to this information is why many people with HIV feel like they can’t tell them. You can’t hold it back forever though and the longer you keep it secret, the more difficult it will be in the long term. Should you do it after the first date, or even before the first date? That decision purely depends on what you are comfortable with. It’s important to be open when dating someone but “I have HIV” might be a bad opening line if you meet someone that you are interested in at a bar, club etc.

hiv dating relationship

So when is the best time to disclose one’s HIV status while dating? The answer to this depends on your personal situation, so let’s look at a couple of the factors involved in deciding when you should tell your partner,

Are you sexually active?

You should definitely disclose that you are HIV positive before you start getting intimate with somebody but it’s probably best to do it even sooner than that, like after the first or second date if possible. How would you like to be having sex with somebody, only to find out later that they have a disease that could be given to you? It’s definitely best shared before you take that step. They might of course decide they no longer want to date you, but this is a risk you have to take.

Is your HIV transmittable?

If you are on certain treatment and have an undetectable load of the virus in your body, then it’s pretty much impossible to transmit the disease through sexual intercourse. If this is the case for you, the person you are dating still has the right to know about your situation. Make sure to fully explain what this means and also give them the opportunity to ask any questions. If they are smart and do their research, they will know that your condition poses no risk to them.

HIV dating sites

One route many people with HIV go down, is joining an HIV positive dating site. This gives you the chance to meet people just like you and they completely understand your situation. Some popular and high quality sites to check out include POZ personals and Positive Singles. You can relax on this website and just get to know potential dates, rather than worrying about disclosing your condition because it’s all on your profile! Make sure to check out our review of POZ Personals and our Positive Singles review.


I hope the information provided has helped you answer when is the best time to disclose one’s HIV status while dating? I recommend telling somebody you are dating sooner rather than later, providing that you are somewhat serious about the person and intend to have more than just one date with them. Consider your situation, the status of your condition and if you intend to have sex with the person when you are deciding when to tell them that you have HIV. Just because you have this diagnosis, doesn’t mean that your love life is ruined forever. There are some very understanding people out there and hopefully, you will find one.

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